


Fragile

by babylearnedtoread



Series: Playlist for Peter and Stiles [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:33:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24813112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babylearnedtoread/pseuds/babylearnedtoread
Summary: Based on the song Fragile - Cooper & GatlinBest read while listening to the songHe felt alone, deserted on the inside and outside as well. Yeah, sure, his friends spent a lot of time around him after the nogitsune left and he regained control over himself. But did he really? But being around him didn’t mean he really felt like they were there for him.
Relationships: Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: Playlist for Peter and Stiles [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1794799
Comments: 2
Kudos: 60





	Fragile

The cold morning air startled him out of the trance he had fallen into. He spared a quick glance at the neatly made bed that he hadn’t slept in since he last woke up from a nightmare, screaming and kicking, his father holding him down in an embrace. That was 3 nights ago. Stiles cried into his dad’s shoulder that night for hours before the sun crept into the room and his expression turned blank, almost emotionless and he hasn’t cried since. 

Not that he didn’t want to. He just felt numb. He avoided his dad’s touch too after his crying session, not from emberassment because he knew he could be vulnerable around him. But he felt the mere human touch would break something in him and he didn’t know if that time he could stop the screaming which he was the only one who could hear all the time, deep down inside him. He felt fragile.

He felt alone, deserted on the inside and outside as well. Yeah, sure, his friends spent a lot of time around him after the nogitsune left and he regained control over himself. But did he really? But being around him didn’t mean he really felt like they were there for him. 

They didn’t even seem to have noticed that he wasn’t around as much anymore. And when he was, the looks he got from them were sometimes too much to bear. Pitiful, warily. That’s all they saw in him anyway. The mess that he had become but none of them knew how to handle it so they just chose to ignore it. So ignore it they shall cause Stiles was not about to keep them from living their highschool lives to the fullest now. 

As much as Scott tried to hide it, Stiles knew he was silently blaming him for Allison’s death. He could still hear Lydia’s mournful scream that night. Not that he could blame Scott. He had a face to link his grief to. And the pathetic way felt and lookd now wasn’t probably that far from the way the presence of the nogistune took a toll on his appereance.

He jumped slightly from the hand on his shoulder, which reatreated almost immediately. He wasn’t at school. He didn’t remember leaving his window that morning. 

“Hey, buddy...” Scott said in a soft voice. “Are you okay?” Stiles stared at him for a second and pulled a small smile, the best he could. It’s like he’s forgotten the simple action. He figured it was for the best though, to show his friend the Stiles he knew, the one he wasn’t afraid of. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” 

He forced a chuckle. “The histroy test just kept me awake most of the night.” Barely. He learned everyting before dinner and then read everything again to keep busy. Then read some more online. Sleep was not an option. 

The bell rang in time to save him from the intense stare coing from his friend. He gave him another small smile to make sure the young wolf didn’t prolong the conversation. Fake a smile and keep moving forward, he told himself, I’ve learned it’s safer to keep my distance  
So far away you can’t see the cracks.

It wasn’t the first time he’s had a panic atack at school and it wouldn’t be the last one. Only this time, he was alone when he ran out of the classroom and into the bathroom. Nobody followed him. He couldn’t breathe. Every inch of his body was shacking. He was alone. 

So he ran again. He ran to his jeep and drove to the only place his mind knew to take him everytime he couldn’t hold himself together anymore.  
It sure came as a surprise when he was sumoned at one of the pack meetings. He made his choice not to go but Lydia had different plans and dragged him to the loft herself. Stiles knew from the moment he stepped in that there was going to be some kind of intervention or questioning. He prepared himself for the worst as no one seemed to dare break the silence. 

Scott finally dares. “ Stiles...we, um, we noticed you haven’t really been around much. I mean you have been around, just not around us.”

He couldn’t help but scoff at that. “Oh, you noticed?” 

Derek spoke next: “You seem off lately and we were just wondering if you were okay.”

That...that about did it for him. He snapped just as he heard the werewolf say that word...that god damn word...”okay”. 

“No!” he shouted. He didn’t even know he had much strengh left. “No, I am not okay!” Everyone seemed surprised but one. He continued, now that the barrier he tried so much to keep everything behind finally broke. It shattered. 

“I'm feeling fragile can't you tell?” All stunned but one, who was slowly moving forward. “I look at you, Scott, and I see her die! I see all of them die...” Scott tried to speak, but Stiles wasn’t done. 

“i can’t even mourn the dead, not like you, not with all the blood on my hands.” He looks at his shacky hands, to prove a point or maybe just to check if it’s there – the blood that he sees sometimes as he looks down. “i don’t get to grieve with you…i don’t deserve to...” His voice cracks and he finds himself choke back tears. 

Another moment of painful silence. Maybe they didn’t need to know all of these, maybe he should have continued to keep them to himself. Or maybe he knew glass doesn’t shatter in silence so neither could he. 

Still looking at his hands he feels his knees getting weaker and weaker, but he feels strong arms wrap around him just as he was about to fall to the ground. He won’t shatter. The tears burn his face as they fall down his cheeks. 

Stiles looks up to meet deep blue eyes, hazed by the tears threatening to spill. “I’ve got you, sweetheart...” He knew. Peter always had him when it was getting too hard to breathe, when he’d lose his pieces one by one. Peter would hold him and try to glue them all back together. 

He had tried to keep his distance because he knew what the others would say or the way they would look at him, just like they were looking at him now. But now he didn’t care. Because Peter was the only thing keeping him whole...Peter’s arms, Peter’s voice, Peter’s heartbeat, Peter’s scent. 

Stiles felt weak and he felt broken but he knew what he had to do to save himself. Maybe it sounded selfish but he needed to be selfish for once and get what he wants, what he needs.

So he leans forward and presses the softest kiss to Peter’s lips. The space between them after they part is filled with Peter’s shacky breath, ghosting over Stiles’ lips. He had yet to fill his lungs again. He takes in the smell of Peter like he is trying to keep his head above water to breathe in all the air he can before being dragged back under and he whispers only for Peter’s ears: “I’m delicate so please don’t break me.”


End file.
